Let me be clear: A foot was never meant to stand on a single blade for the sole purpose of skimming across a solid, icy surface. Actually, when I say it like that, it's even more dumb aloud. So that's why the hubs, offspring #1 and I went ice skating downtown last weekend. It sounded like a GREAT idea.
"Hey, child. Look out the window. It's raining a wintry mist that freezes mid-air. It has to be too cold to do anything out there. Soooo...let's get our coats and go ice skating."
Granted, my daughter and husband loved it. She held onto the side railing (as did I) with a smile on her face (I did not) while he spun across the glistening sheet of ice like a snow angel. I know this may come as a shock, but I am not graceful. I was not born with grace. It's not a trait that runs in the family. And any grace I might have had was lost in the childbirth process. It was all downhill from there. I knew this for sure once the hubs let go of my arm and left me in a place with no rail to guide me.
And I fell on my keester.
Hard.
And you know that feeling when you think everyone around you is laughing--at you? That totally happened. When you think of someone falling in a movie, you imagine them having the time of their lives. You know, like on a cute, first date or some stupid shizz.
This was not the way it happened for us. It was more like I looked up, because a strange man asked if I was okay, while my dear husband and child skated away, never having witnessed the fall at all. That was the moment I realized my dream of making it into the Olympics would probably have to wait.
As for ice skating...I will not let you win. I won't. I won't.
Actually, I probably will.
Until the next [mis]adventure...
What's the one holiday activity/event that mocks and belittles you?
CandylandHoHoHo. OUT.
Photo cred via
