Kill a cup, save a nut(job)

Thanks to TIM<--aka Matty<---, today's post is ridiculous. Per yesterday's request, I asked for it, and you gave it to me. Good. I should've known you little sneaks wouldn't take it easy on me. So now, I give you a sonnet...about a mother trucking plastic cup.

My hatred for a cup has never been more, (seriously)
Greater than gators and coconuts and heat,
Its bright-colored plastic was quite the eyesore,
But my husband exclaimed "This is neat!"

The ugly cup was everywhere,
It tormented my every night's sleep,
My dear husband didn't have a care,
That his cup was some kind of creep.(a perv in the cuppiest way)

It happened one rainy day, (I don't remember)
I wouldn't just let the thing be,
I couldn't help but to throw it away,
Then I pretended that it wasn't me.(cats are good for blaming)

The cup will remain in our hearts and our minds,
Because that SOB nearly ruined our lives.

Yeah, it sucks, but what else would you expect in Candyland? Exactly. So now, go ahead and re-read (or read) THIS POST and leave a comment for your chance to win a book of choice via the Book Depository. But first tell me, what object have you ever had such an intense hatred or disliking for in your life? I can't be the only nutjob here.


Candyland. OUT.

There's a reason they call me The Pancake

Okay, so no one actually calls me that and why would they? Maybe because I flatten people's faces with my fists! Um, no. Anyway...With a MUCH NEEDED vacation/hiatus starting next week, I'm going to do something a little different. First, a contest. Did I slip that in subtly enough? I'm going to link back to THIS POST, everyday this week, because I think every writer should read my word of caution BEFORE signing with an agent. For every 10 additional comments (from a follower) on THIS POST starting today, I'll choose 1 name at random to win your book of choice from the Book Depository. Contest is open internationally, and while spreading the word is optional, it's appreciated. It's really important THIS POST gets everyone's attention.

In addition, if I reach 100 comments, I will draw a winner for one of these two shirts:

Second, for the next 5 business days (how professional), I want YOU to tell ME what to write about. It's mainly because I'm already in vacay mode but can't leave you hanging. So go ahead. I'll blog about anything YOU want. Catnip? Beach volleyball? Facial hair? Give me your best (or worst). Today through next Monday, I'll pick (again, at random) 5 posts to give a Candyland account of your subject, while linking to THIS POST at the bottom of each one. Sounds good? Or are you confused? Did you take your Meds today? Uh-huh...

Re-cap: Send peoples to THIS POST. Comment yourself. Well, not on yourself, but comment also. Winners will be chosen for every 10 new comments when I return from my GETTHEHELLOUTOFDODGECATION (I don't actually live in Dodge). It's like spreading an STD. Do it and pass it on. On top of all that, tell me here, on this post, what you want me to talk about for five days. This is as easy as your Aunt Helga. Either that or I'm severely dehydrated. Could be both.

Go for it, friends. I'm waiting.


Candyland. OUT.

Feel Me Up Friday: He got stuck in the hole and it's as funny as it sounds

My post on trusting your instincts was up for two days and I wanted to leave it up one more to give as many people as possible the chance to read my story. If you know anyone who hasn't read it, please pass it on. Together, we can save hopeful writers the trouble I found myself in, before it's too late. I had to take it down because I have something that needs to be shared. Immediately. If I don't tell you now, I'll implode. Okay, maybe that's too dramatic. I'll combust.

Apparently, whilst the hubs was off at work (he's a cable technician), and digging around in a basement crawl space, it seems as though he...got...stuck.

[Trying not to laugh]

As he's telling me this story over the phone, I imagine my sweet, fearless husband, with only his back end hanging from the small hole, dangling like bait. The house owner + wife watched in horror as the hubs flailed his feet against the wall, trying to break free.

[OMG...I can't stop laughing]

As his boots wiggled and squirmed, the hubs attempted to remove his belt so he could [hopefully] slide out a little smoother. Somewhere in his struggle, he kicked over his work ladder and had to have the house owner grab his legs and literally PULL HIM FREE.

[.................]

Those of you who know my husband, he was obviously cracking jokes about his fat a$$ to relieve his humility. And I've tried not to laugh. Really, I have. But....hold on......

[.................]

Okay, all better. Wait...Let me get it out of my system:

Ahaha.....anywho...moving on....hahaha.....

Random Fact: While I've never been stuck in a hole in the wall, my offspring did get stuck in a bucket once. Like daughter, like father.

Tell me, have you ever gotten stuck in anything? Tee-hee...

Candylandstilllaughing. OUT.

Trust your gut or be damned

Comment for the chance to win book of choice from the Book Depository (1 book for every 10 new comments). Winners announced July 1st. Help me reach 100 comments. Spread the word...

You know that funny feeling in the pit of your stomach? Not the one you get when you're in love, but the one that pinches and pulls you in a different direction than you're trying to go? That feeling should not be ignored. Ever. You may think the feeling will go away as you do whatever it is you want to do. It won't. The feeling will only grow into a beast that eats away at your insides.

Because somewhere along the line, you lost your way. You were wrong.

What I'm about to say is sensitive. Though I think if you can learn by me or circumstances surrounding, that's enough reason to do this. I signed with my agent in January of this year. If you remember, there was no celebratory post, though I'd been "working" with this agent since July of last year. Of course, I like to be low-key when it comes to writing, but also, this agent gave me that strange feeling and I ignored it. At first, it was all surreal. Like WOW I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING! Then, slowly, emails weren't returned and finally communication was cut off completely for about three months after the agent had promised revision notes that were never sent.

I was so heartbroken, I stepped aside from writing altogether. Until one day out of the blue, I got an email from the agent asking how the revision was coming along. I was flabbergasted and confused. Even with that feeling still gnawing in my stomach, she finally sent the revision notes and I got right to work. At that point, I wasn't doing it for her. I desperately wanted to transform my story into something amazing, because I knew I could, if someone would just believe in me.

In early January, despite interest from other agents, the agent offered representation. Though in retrospect, it was reluctant. I accepted NOT because I felt she was the best fit, but because I felt like I'd owed it to her for "working" with me for so long. She didn't want me to announce the news. She prompted me to "keep it to myself" and wait until my book sold like it would be sweeter that way, when really, it hurt and I felt like she was ashamed of me. And still, my stomach was burning a firey warning I didn't heed.

Through another round of revisions and a month's(+) worth of emails that were never returned, I decided to finally listen to my gut and terminate the contract. It was hard. I cried about it. A LOT. It felt like I was letting my story, my characters, my DREAM die. But I knew it had to be done. After the official letter, and emails, were sent, she never even responded...

And now, the reason this is all coming out now, is not to bash the agent. I'm grateful for the notes she gave me, and for a short time, letting me feel like I could make it. Recently she [unexpectedly] left agenting altogether, just weeks after I made the decision for myself. AND THANK BERT I DID. It appears as though this agent not only led me on, but (from what I hear) for those clients who were out on sub....SHE NEVER ACTUALLY PUT THEM ON SUB.

I can't even digest this information. I feel terrible for all those clients who didn't opt out like I did, and THOUGHT they were being represented in a good, honorable way. Lack of communication is one thing, but man-oh-man....to lie about putting someone's DREAMS on submission is a whole other level.

So, kids, while querying my beloved story for the last time, sit back and really listen to that feeling you're ignoring. It might be hard. It might suck. But it also might serve to protect you, before you get hurt. It doesn't only apply to writers, either. It applies to everyone with a neglected backbone. I want you to find it, use it and be strong. Remember, no one is in charge of your future, except you.

Honestly, friends, what would you have done here?


Have faith. You're gut will guide you. Promise.


Candylandstilldreaming. OUT.

Feel Me Up Friday: What's in a name? HOPE

Friends! Today is a SPECIAL day. Because it's Friday? Yes. Because it's Strawberry Festival weekend where I'm allowed to eat as many chocolate dipped strawberries as possible and not look like a pig? Uh-huh. Also because, today, I want to celebrate a special friend who has inspired me more than words can say. That's right. I want to dedicate today's post to Mr. Lenny Lee, world's greatest virtual hugger + sweetest little man I know.

To get up to speed on who I'm talking about (if you've been under a tipped cow), READ HERE.

Okay, better? Good. Now, go wash those mitts. We've got some feelin' to do.

Random Fact in Lenny's honor: I use to rescue so many stray cats, I once attempted to start a non-profit to find homes for the animals. As it turns out, I was horrible at it and ended up keeping way too many cats. And now, I actually don't prefer cats anymore. Go figure.

Random Fact in Lenny's honor: So you know, I got myself knocked up five months back. Since then, we've found out we're having a boy. And what better way to celebrate my little friend, than to add a second middle name to our son's title:

SULLIVAN
(because we loves it)
MATTHEW
(after my father + it doesn't hurt BR80 sports it, too)
LEONARD <3
(for Lenny)
GANGER
(uhh yeah, tradition)

And with that, I want to know, what is your favorite summer festival and WHAT DO YOU GORGE ON? Mmm...


CandylandlovesloveslovesLenny. OUT.

How the eff...

...do you get every word of a headline wrong?

Tell me friends, without reading the article, what do you make of this headline? 


Candyland. OUT.